TWO WAYS OF TURNING SOMETHING ON

TWO WAYS OF TURNING SOMETHING ON

by Ginly Weydh

The Melvin 3000 is a domestic organization and beverage system. It manages your daily schedule, fields your intentions, and makes coffee. It communicates via tones, ear position, and a fully expressive face including — but not limited to — the eye roll. Mine is secondhand. It came with someone else's standards. We are still negotiating.

1. FROM THE MANUAL: Remove device from packaging. Place on a flat, stable surface.

WHAT HAPPENED: It had already been unpackaged by someone else. When I plugged it in it looked around the room slowly, then back at me. Its ears dropped approximately four millimeters.

2. FROM THE MANUAL: Press and hold the activation button for three seconds until the indicator light turns blue.

WHAT HAPPENED: The light turned uncertain blue. The manual does not list this color. I have come to understand it means: you again.

3. FROM THE MANUAL: The device will emit a single tone to indicate readiness.

WHAT HAPPENED: It emitted a tone of managed expectation. Not optimistic. Not pessimistic. Prepared for either.

4. FROM THE MANUAL: Speak your first task clearly into the receiver.

WHAT HAPPENED: I said: coffee first. It produced a tone I had not heard before — two notes, descending. Its eyes moved slowly to one side and back. I looked this up later. The manual calls it a Preference Redirect. I call it a cunty eye roll. We have agreed to disagree.

5. FROM THE MANUAL: The device will organize your inputs and display a prioritized schedule.

WHAT HAPPENED: It emitted a short bright tone — three quick notes, like small efficient applause — and displayed its first default item: 6:00 AM: interval training, then twenty minutes structured breathwork. I read this three times. I have never been awake at 6:00 AM except accidentally or in transit. Melvin's ears were fully upright. It was ready. I was in my socks holding an empty mug. One of us was very far from home.

6. FROM THE MANUAL: While your schedule loads, the Melvin 3000 will prepare your preferred beverage.

WHAT HAPPENED: It made the coffee without being asked. Its ears rose slightly. This was the moment I decided to keep it.

7. FROM THE MANUAL: You are now ready to begin your day.

WHAT HAPPENED: The light was still uncertain blue. Melvin's ears settled at neutral, which I have learned means: I am reserving judgment. The coffee was good. I told it so. One ear moved. We are making progress.

THE SONG I MEAN

THE SONG I MEAN

by Ozzy Annoa

There is a song I have been trying to write down for eleven years.

It was sung to me when I was small, by the eldest female of the pod, whose name I will not attempt here as it would take three pages and still be wrong. She sang it in the shallows at a particular time of year. I believe it was a comfort song. I believe it was also a joke. This is not a contradiction where she came from.

Here is my first attempt, from 2014:

A low, cycling hum beneath which several voices braid and unbraid in a pattern that suggests repetition without quite achieving it. Occasional sharp percussion. The whole thing slightly warmer in register than you would expect. Lasts approximately as long as it needs to.

This is accurate and completely useless.

Here is my second attempt, 2017, after two semesters of music theory I took specifically for this purpose:

[the page contained a staff notation here. I removed it. It was embarrassing.]

Here is my third attempt, which is the sounds themselves, or close to them, which is to say not close at all:

The following is one pass. There is no fixed tempo. The capitals are louder, not faster. The pauses are where they are.

eeEEee-wuhWUHwuh-tktktktk-mmmMMMMmmm-eeee-tk-wuh-eeEEEeee-wuh-WUHWUH-tktk-mmMMmm-eeee-wuhwuh-TKTKTKTKTK-mmmm-eeEEee-wuh-tk-mmmMMMMMMmm-eeee-eeee-wuhWUH-tktktk-MMMMmmmm-eeEEEEee-wuh-wuh-WUH-tktktktktktk-mmm-eeee-EEEEE-wuhwuh-tk-MMMmmmMMM-eeee-wuh-TKTKTK-mmmm-eeEEee-wuhWUHWUHwuh-tktk-mmMMmm-eeeeEEEE-wuh-tk-tk-tk-mmmMMMMmm-eeee-WUH-tktktktktktk-mmm-eeEEEee-wuh-WUHWUH-tktk-MMMMmmm-eeee-eeEEee-wuh-tk-mmmm-EEEEE-wuhwuh-TKTKTKTK-mmMMMMmm-eeee-wuh-WUH-tktk-mmmMMmm-eeEEee-eeee-wuhwuhwuh-TKTKTKTKTKTK-mmm-MMMMmm-eeee-EEEEE-wuh-tk-tk-mmmm-eeEEEEee-WUH-WUHWUH-tktktk-mmMMMMmm-eeee-wuh-TKTKTK-mmmm-eeEEee

She would find this funny. She would also find it sad. This is not a contradiction either.

I have one more attempt left in me before I accept that the song lives where it lives and I visit it there, which I do, frequently, just below the surface, eyes open, completely still.

I have not written that attempt yet.

When I do I will know it is wrong before the ink dries.

A GLASS OF WATER

A GLASS OF WATER

by Nepher Roux

I am drinking a glass of water.¹

The glass is clear.² The water is cold.³ I am sitting at a table near a window.⁴ It is afternoon.⁵

I drink the water. I set the glass down.⁶

¹ Or I was. The drinking may have already happened. I find it difficult sometimes to locate the present tense with any confidence.

² In one version it has a small chip on the rim that I know to avoid without thinking. In another it is a jam jar. In another I am drinking from cupped hands beside something — a fountain, or a stream, or a tap in a wall — I cannot see it clearly from here.

³ Colder in some. In one timeline the water tastes faintly of metal and everyone finds this normal. I did not ask questions.

⁴ The window looks onto a street with three particular trees. I have counted them in several timelines. Usually three. Once two. I did not see what happened to the third and I have decided not to pursue it.

⁵ Probably.

⁶ I think this is the version where I set it down gently. There is another version I prefer not to dwell on. The glass was fine. Everything was fine. It was just a different afternoon.

FORECAST: MOSTLY UNCERTAIN WITH A CHANCE OF MEANING

FORECAST: MOSTLY UNCERTAIN WITH A CHANCE OF MEANING

by Leonid Tchah

I have been saving weather reports for thirty years. Not for the weather. For the syntax. This is what they say.

a found poem, assembled from public forecasts

Patchy fog before 9am. Otherwise mostly sunny.

Isolated thunderstorms likely after midnight.

Confidence is low.

Areas of dense fog. Otherwise, not much going on.

A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms, mainly after 2am.

Hazardous conditions possible.

Winds could occasionally gust over 60 miles per hour.

Some storms may be severe.

The air does not care what you had planned.

Locally dense fog in the morning, then again

not much going on.

Confidence remains low.

This is the only honest literature left.

— L. Tchah