Margins
The scribbled thoughts in the margins of literature—personal essays, literary drift, and sideways glances at language and form.
TWO WAYS OF TURNING SOMETHING ON
TWO WAYS OF TURNING SOMETHING ON
by Ginly Weydh
The Melvin 3000 is a domestic organization and beverage system. It manages your daily schedule, fields your intentions, and makes coffee. It communicates via tones, ear position, and a fully expressive face including — but not limited to — the eye roll.
TWO WAYS OF TURNING SOMETHING ON
by Ginly Weydh
The Melvin 3000 is a domestic organization and beverage system. It manages your daily schedule, fields your intentions, and makes coffee. It communicates via tones, ear position, and a fully expressive face including — but not limited to — the eye roll. Mine is secondhand. It came with someone else's standards. We are still negotiating.
1. FROM THE MANUAL: Remove device from packaging. Place on a flat, stable surface.
WHAT HAPPENED: It had already been unpackaged by someone else. When I plugged it in it looked around the room slowly, then back at me. Its ears dropped approximately four millimeters.
2. FROM THE MANUAL: Press and hold the activation button for three seconds until the indicator light turns blue.
WHAT HAPPENED: The light turned uncertain blue. The manual does not list this color. I have come to understand it means: you again.
3. FROM THE MANUAL: The device will emit a single tone to indicate readiness.
WHAT HAPPENED: It emitted a tone of managed expectation. Not optimistic. Not pessimistic. Prepared for either.
4. FROM THE MANUAL: Speak your first task clearly into the receiver.
WHAT HAPPENED: I said: coffee first. It produced a tone I had not heard before — two notes, descending. Its eyes moved slowly to one side and back. I looked this up later. The manual calls it a Preference Redirect. I call it a cunty eye roll. We have agreed to disagree.
5. FROM THE MANUAL: The device will organize your inputs and display a prioritized schedule.
WHAT HAPPENED: It emitted a short bright tone — three quick notes, like small efficient applause — and displayed its first default item: 6:00 AM: interval training, then twenty minutes structured breathwork. I read this three times. I have never been awake at 6:00 AM except accidentally or in transit. Melvin's ears were fully upright. It was ready. I was in my socks holding an empty mug. One of us was very far from home.
6. FROM THE MANUAL: While your schedule loads, the Melvin 3000 will prepare your preferred beverage.
WHAT HAPPENED: It made the coffee without being asked. Its ears rose slightly. This was the moment I decided to keep it.
7. FROM THE MANUAL: You are now ready to begin your day.
WHAT HAPPENED: The light was still uncertain blue. Melvin's ears settled at neutral, which I have learned means: I am reserving judgment. The coffee was good. I told it so. One ear moved. We are making progress.